xu1990 wrote:The problem with hating Creighton is that everybody in Omaha is so damn nice and wanting you to have a good time, they're very difficult to dislike. Same thing to a lesser extent around the Midwest.
X and Butler have a nice little rivalry formed over the last 10 years or so but I actually think X v Marquette is going to be the slugfest I enjoy seeing develop over the next decade. So screw those cheese eaters in Milwaukee!! (although again, damn it, it's hard to dislike Buzz)
A few years ago, some UConn fan posted what the Big East schools would be if they were Simpsons characters. Marquette came out as Ned Flanders.
"Marquette fans are nice. Too nice. Oppressively, sickeningly, unbearably nice. Seriously, go to a game in Milwaukee, you'll never feel more welcomed or at home. It's disgusting. Even when they're mocking you they do it in a wholesome "everyone have a chuckle" sort of way. I have nothing bad to say about them. Gah.
Relevant Quote: "Gosh darn it! Am I that pre-diddly-ictable?"
The rest of the list (including some of our dearly departed America 12) can be found
here, but for ease of reading, the members who survived the realignment are listed below. I'll also give the new members a shot.
DePaul (Bumblebee Man): DePaul fans are the ultimate embodiment of the Bumblebee Man. They're always around, excitable and enthusiastic, but at the end of the day they just look silly, they're ultimately superfluous and they're afflicted with a deep inner sadness. So much hope, so little reason.
Relevant Quote: "¡Ay, ay, ay, no es bueno!"
Providence (Ralph Wiggum): John Marinatto is a Providence fan.
Relevant Quote: Miss Hoover: Now put paste on your paper. Ralph, are you eating your paste?
Ralph Wiggum: (Gluestick poking out of his mouth) No, Miss. Hoover.
Villanova (Lenny/Carl with Pitt): As far as I can tell the only difference between Villanova and Pittsburgh is that Villanova's lifelong goal is to field a team made up entirely out of guards while Pittsburgh only wants to start five power forwards at the same time. Both fanbases have had their share of good times and their teams have lots of potential (just like Lenny and Carl are established citizens of Springfield with good jobs at a nuclear power plant) and both have seen that potential blown year after year (just like Lenny and Carl are ultimately losers who just hang out at Moes). The two programs have combined for one Final Four since the establishment of the [2005-2013-era] Big East, which I can only assume occurred because it was impossible for both teams to lose painfully when they met in the 2009 Elite Eight.
Relevant Quote: Lenny: "Remember when we used to kiss like that . . . with our respective girlfriends?"
St. John's (Grandpa Simpson): If anyone was ever going to tell you a story about the NCAA tournament being held at Madison Square Garden with tickets costing five bees (there were bees on the nickel at the time, give me five bees for a quarter you'd say), it'd be leading St. John's fan and noted college basketball expert Mike Francesa. Also, Grandpa Simpson strikes me as someone who'd be really excited about using the term "redmen." I'll just note here that the other character under consideration was Maggie Simpson, because she lives in a house (MSG) but everyone else does whatever they want in there.
Relevant Quote: "I'm cold and there are wolves after me."
^ I can't agree with this one enough. Honestly, some of you guys should get your mail forwarded to the past; you spend so much time living there.
Seton Hall (Dr. Nick Riviera): It'd be nice if, just once, things could work out for Seton Hall fans, if only so they wouldn't have to keep dealing with increasingly crazy attempts to turn their program around. Can you believe the Bobby Gonzalez era was a real thing at a major program? And then, just when things start to look good and it seems they've got a real professional to fix their program (you know, like a doctor), Kevin Willard turns out to be just as insane ("I'm the only coach in the country with white guys who can't shoot.") and prone to meltdowns. No wonder things seem grim.
Relevant quote: "Inflammable means flammable? What a country."
Georgetown (Martin Prince): Georgetown is a very good school and very intelligent people go there, but nothing defines a Georgetown fan like their pathological need to tell you that Georgetown is a very good school and they went there because they are an intelligent person. Georgetown fans know they're smarter than you and they don't want you to forget it. They're also probably upset I said they were Martin and not Lisa Simpson, but you always need to leave Georgetown fans with something to aspire to. Remember how fast Syracuse and Pittsburgh bailed on the Big East when the ACC had openings? Well that's nothing compared to how quickly Georgetown would submit its application to the Ivy League if Dartmouth suddenly decided to give up athletics. You're smart Georgetown, but you're still not the smartest. Sorry.
Relevant Quote: Martin: "Care to make it a trio, Bart? You can brush and I can blow."
Bart: "Well, I agree you blow."
Martin: "Then it's a plan!"
Bart: "A lot of people blow, but no one blows like you."
Martin: "High praise indeed!"
Bart: "When you look up "blow" in the dictionary--"
Lisa: "Bart, he's not gonna get it."
Bart: "Fine."
I'll try to give a shot to round out the new members.
Creighton (Gil Gunderson): Creighton's program has certainly been around for a long time, and they've always managed to have some level of success, but they just can't seem to get over the hump into greatness. While that may change this year, for now they're the only team in the Big East to never get past the Sweet 16. Their fanbase seems to be made up of perfectly nice people, but even when things look great, you know Ol' Gil will find a way to have it all crash down at the most inopportune moment.
Relevant Quote: "Aw you should've seen me honey, I was in the zone! What? No, no, I didn't make a sale, but I was so close, I could feel it!"
Xavier (Sideshow Bob): No matter what happens, he just keeps coming back. Xavier, despite coaching changes, graduations, and 3 conference changes since the mid-90s just keeps coming back. They're always lurking in the tournament, occasionally dangerous, but the plans for domination just never seem to come to fruition.
Relevant Quote: "My young friends, for years I have been silent, save for the crude glissandos of this primitive wind instrument. (Holds up slide whistle.) But now, destiny has thrust me into the center ring. In the coming weeks, you will notice some rather sweeping changes in our program. Please do not be alarmed."
Butler (Dancin' Homer): Small-town dreams from the movie "Hoosiers" and big city lights made Butler the belle of the ball at the Big Dance. Two national championship game appearances in two years pushed them from the Horizon League to Madison Square Garden. But do they have the staying power?
Relevant Quote: Lisa: I can't leave Springfield! I was born here and I thought I would die here!
Homer: It won't be so bad. You'll die someplace else.